Darwin Awards Next Evolution: Chlorinating the Gene Pool by Northcutt Wendy

Author:Northcutt, Wendy [Northcutt, Wendy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

One day we saw five looters sneak into a bunker. As we made our way toward the bunker to apprehend them, the bunker exploded. It was a few days before we could get close to the demolished bunker. When we were able to investigate, we ascertained that the looters had either struck a spark while hitting a tank round with hammer and chisel, or one or all were enjoying their finest tobacco while striking the explosive. Either way, the outcome was the demise of five insurgents.

"As we approached to apprehend them, the bunker exploded,"

Reference: Anonymous eyewitness account

Reader Comment:

"Do I detect a special spark between us?"

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the former."

-Albert Einstein

Darwin Award: Thou Shalt Not Steel

ConfiImed True by Darwin

8 MARCH 2008, CZECH REPUBLIC Steel is valuable, especially the high-grade alloy used in steel cable. Scrap metal dealers do not ask questions. They pay in cash. And a good supply of steel cable can be found in elevator shafts.

This particular gold mine was a towering shaft inside an empty granary near Zatec, forty miles northwest of Prague. The cable was tightly fastened, and the far end of it disappeared into the shadowy distance above.

"The counterbalance started to move silently downward," After substantial wear and tear on a hacksaw, our man finally cut through the strong steel cable. At that instant the counterbalance, no longer held in check, started to move silently downward, accelerating until it reached the bottom of the shaft.

Result: one proud winner of a "terminal velocity" Darwin Award.

R.I.P,

Reference: zpravy.ldnes.cz

Reader Comments:

"Shafted!"

"A weighty subject."

Darwin Award: A Slow Burn

ConfiImed True by Darwin

6 JULY 2006. OHIO

A rare Double DaIwin! Insurance fraud is harder than it looks. Just ask Musa and his son Essa, who hired an arsonist to burn down their Steak Thyme sub shop so they could collect the insurance money. They promised the arsonist a sixtyýthousandýdollarýaýyear job, although where he would work once the shop was ashes is unknown.

Three times he tried and three times he failed to destroy the sandwich shop. Whether it was a Molotov cocktail thrown through the window, or chairs doused with gasoline and set ablaze, the result was the same. Minor damage. The neighborhood was up in arms over the apparent "hate crimes" repeatedly being committed against the two Jordanian immigrants.

Musa grew tired of throwing good money after bad. This was getting him nowhere! For the fourth arson attempt. only twelve hours after the flaming chairs fizzled, he and his son decided to help the hired hand. They spread gasoline liberally around their eatery. A single match would do the trick.

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